Love fade, mine has
by gilcrust
Summary: what i think should have happened after the whole "Love fades mine has" thing which i hate.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Rose or Dimitri sadly all credit goes to the wonderful Richelle Mead.

"Love fades. Mine has", He said coldly.

"Liar", I chuckled.

His eyes widened in surprise at how quickly I'd called his bluff. "I'm not lying , I don't love you anymore", he shouted defensively.

"Mhm, and who are you trying to convince me or yourself?" I asked putting a hand on my hip.

He sighed cradling his head in his hands. "I don't know anymore", he mumbled.

I approached him and gently rested my hand on his back; he covered it with his own.

"I love you", I whispered sitting down next to him.

"Maybe you should stop."

"Maybe I should, but I think we both on I never really do what I should. I won't give up on you, I'll never leave you", I said gently moving a piece of hair from his face.

"I never stopped loving you. I never will but Roza you have to understand that the things I've done to you I will never be able to forgive myself for", he sobbed.

I wrapped my arms around him and he rested his head in the crook of my neck. "I've already forgiven you but I'll be here for as long as it takes for you to forgive yourself. You're a good man Dimitri please don't ever forget that", I whispered stroking his hair as he cried.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"You never have to be like that again."

"I'm sorry that I hurt you, I'm sorry that I lied, I'm sorry for everything", he choked out. "Please don't cry, I hat it when you cry my Roza," he said looking up at me.

I smiled through the tears when he called me his Roza. "I'm sorry I just never really let myself grieve when I lost you or celebrate your return and everything is just kind of coming to me at once", I said, he wiped away my tears before gently kissing my forehead.

"I love you Rosemarie Hathaway", he crooned nuzzling my neck.

"I love you too Dimitri Belikov", we both laughed.

"Let's get out of here for a while, away from this place, away from these people, away from everything just you and me", he proposed standing up and offering me his hand.

"Ok, for how long exactly and how are we going to do this?"

"Officially of course, I know you'd like to be Lissa's Guardian when we come back and I'd like to take a job at court, if they'll let me, and besides I've already discussed it with the queen and she thinks it's a great idea", he added.

"She does?", I said skeptically.

"Yes", he smiled.

"Now all I have to do is tie up some loose ends."

After breaking up with Adrian and telling Lissa that I'd be leaving for a while I packed almost everything I had into either a suitcase or a box, then there was a soft rap at the door. I answered and smile contently when I seen Dimitri staring back at me. He helped me move everything into a large pick up truck, his things were all ready inside. Once all the boxes were packed I jumped into his arms and locked my legs around his waist, I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him wildly before murmuring, "take me away Prince Charming."

He chuckled and set me down in the passenger seat before climbing in the other side. "Happily ever after here we come", he smiled starting the engine; he grabbed my hand and stepped on the gas.


	2. Chapter 2

"And I'm shaken then I'm still When your eyes meet mine I lose simple skills Like to tell you all I want is now", I sang pitifully to him.

"Voice of an angel", he chuckled kissing my hand sweetly.

I rolled my eyes and went back to eating my food. I moaned as I took a bite of my nacho bell grande. He raised an eyebrow at me before smirking and shaking his head.

"Eyes on the road pervert", I teased this time moaning his name.

"You must learn to better control yourself Roza, you are distracting me from the road", he said moving his hand from the middle consul to the inside of my thigh, right beside where I needed him the most.

"Dimitri, please", I whimpered.

"Please what?" he smiled knowingly.

"Please touch me", I whispered, he began to unzip and unbutton my pants quickly, then he slipped two fingers into my panties and ran them over my nether lips a couple time before spreading them and rubbing my clit furiously. "Oh god yes, please don't stop" I groaned grasping his forearm.

"I wasn't planning on stopping anything but the car", he chuckled devilishly. I smiled watching him through my heavy lidded eyes. He pulled over to the side of the almost vacant road; we just stared at each other for a long moment, both of us getting lost in each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity before he motioned for us to move to the back seat. "May I?", he asked timidly motioning to my clothes, I nodded and watched him remove my clothes, when he was done he started to remove his own shirt but I stopped him.

"My job".

He chuckled and waited for me, I ran my hands over his perfectly sculpted abs while throwing the offensive piece of clothing to the floor. I removed his pants and boxers, before long we were both completely naked. He leaned down and kissed from my lips to my dripping core, he placed a light kiss there causing me to gasp before slowly making his way back to my mouth. He put my legs on either side of his hips and positioned himself above me. "I love you", he whispered so sweetly I couldn't help the tear that escaped me. He kissed it away.

"I love you too" I replied once he was fully inside me. The tears fell freely now and I shook beneath him.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked worried.

"No it feels really good, I don't know it's like you're healing me but in order for it to happen you have to bring it all to the surface and it just hurts, in here", I breathed placing his hand over my heart.

"I know _exactly_ what you mean, do you want me to stop?" he asked beginning to tear up himself.

"No let's just get through this so we can move on", I said softly.

"I hate hurting you", he whispered.

"I'm hurting you too" I replied.

"I'll be fine."

"So will I", I sobbed, "Now give me the good stuff Belikov I ain't got all day", I teased desperate to lighten the mood.

"Yes ma'am", he chuckled thrusting into me. His tears fell on me like a steady rain and mine streamed down my face, I was terrified of how I looked. This is it I thought, after months of being completely numb I felt something, the wall between us had finally disappeared and in this moment I felt closer to him than I ever had. "I love you Roza", he mumbled kissing me gently.

"I love you too", I whispered against his swollen lips, "please don't ever leave me again", I sobbed my fingers digging into his back.

"If it were up to me I never would have left you in the first place," he smiled through the tears.

I nodded and knotted my fingers into his soft hair. He began to move faster until instead of pain I felt only pleasure; he hit the spot inside me that made my head spin. "Oh god yes", I moan throwing my head back against the leather seat and arching my back towards him.

"You're so beautiful", he noted beginning the suck on my neck.

I let out an involuntary yelp that caused him to jump back, I covered my mouth with both hands. "I'm so sorry, I have no idea why I did that", I stuttered, I reached toward him but he pulled away.

"I know exactly why you did it", he said in a controlled voice. He said nothing else as he redressed himself and helped me with my clothes. I tried and tried to convince him that it was a coincidence I had screamed. He simply opened the door for me; once I was inside he climbed into the driver's seat and began to drive again focusing completely on the road. After about ten minutes or so he whispered, "Too soon."

It wasn't a question just a statement, one spoken with such finality I didn't question it, I simply nodded and drifted of to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

We hadn't spoken of that night in days, the long days of driving and the many nights spent in hotel rooms were beginning to drive us both crazy. "When are you going to tell me where were going?" I asked impatiently.

"Only a day or so left till we get there, you'll just have to be patient", he snapped back.

I sighed and dropped my head into my hands. Dimitri didn't look up from the book he was reading. Both of us were clearly frustrated and hurt, I walked slowly over to the small table and took the seat across from him. I covered his hand with mine and he flipped his hand upward and intertwined our finger. _I love you_, I wrote on the unused napkin between us.

"I love you too", he chuckled taking another sip of his coffee.

"You have to stop drinking this, it keeps you up all night", I said taking in the dark circles under his eyes.

"Can't sleep anyway", he stated looking away from me.

"Please try", I begged taking the mug from his shaking hands and dumping the contents down the sink in the small hotel kitchen. When I turned back to face him I was pleased to see him already laying on the bed under the covers.

"Come to bed", he said sleepily.

I smiled and turned off the light before jumping under the covers next to my wonderful boyfriend. "Dimitri?" I whispered but he was already asleep, his breaths came in a slow steady pattern that I soon fell asleep to.

"Rose, Rose! Please don't leave me, I didn't mean to hurt you, please don't leave!" Dimitri shouted thrashing around next to me. I finally managed to shake him awake; his eyes were filled with tears. "Rose", he said pleadingly.

"I'm here", I whispered gently stroking his hair, "I will never leave you", I muttered as he clung to me, "Lay down baby", I coaxed, he lay down on his back and I rested my head in the crook of his neck. "I'm here", I repeated again and again until he fell asleep. He began to snore but I found myself unable to sleep so I lay next to him till about 8:30 then I finally snuck out of bed and went for a run. I didn't want to wake him so I kissed him lightly on the forehead and left him a note that read, _be back soon, I love you, Rose. _On the way home I stopped at Dunkin Doughnuts. When I finally opened the door to the hotel room I found Dimitri pacing back and forth in the small space.

"Where have to been?" he demanded sounding more like a worried parent than a boyfriend.

"Good morning to you too", I chuckled leaning up on my tippy toes to kiss him.

"I asked you a question", he snarled back.

"I went for a run and then to Dunkin Doughnuts, I got you coffee", I said offering it to him; he took it and sighed sitting down at the small table.

"What's happening to me?" he whispered in a defeated voice.

"You're been through a lot Dimitri, that's all, it's understandable for you to be upset, I'm sorry", I replied taking his hand in mine.

"I shouldn't have acted like that, you were trying to do something nice for me and I yelled at you, I shouldn't have", he chastised himself.

"If you ever wanna talk you know I'm here for you right?"

"I know", he said smiling sweetly, "Although it may be easier for me to talk about it with someone who doesn't know me, someone impartial", he added shrugging.

"Like a shrink, you'd be into that?" I asked biting my lip.

"I'll do whatever it takes to be the way I used to be, to be the man you love", he stated looking away from me and focusing his attention on a grain of sugar that lay on the table between us.

"I love you just the way you are, dhampir, strogoi, or in between, I will always love you", I vowed.

"That's one of the many things I love about you, you're always able to make me feel better when I feel like shit", he sighed.

"Aww darn, my whole purpose in life is to make you feel like shit", I teased.

He smiled, "Well in that case you need to work a little harder my love."

He gathered me into his arms and watched me eat my sprinkled doughnut; he threw me on the bed and crawled in next to me. "Hey pretty girl."

"Hey", I giggled.

"I have something to ask you, it's really stupid and I'm not sure you know how, never mind", he said.

"Just ask me."

"Teach me how to dougie", he whispered after a few moments of silence.

I laughed, "You wanna learn how to dougie?"

He nodded looking slightly ashamed.

"Ok", I chuckled pulling him off the bed and teaching him how to dougie.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I sadly still don't own Rose or Dimitri.

"Rose, up", Dimitri yelling becoming impatient.

"No!" I said defiantly. I rolled over, then the covers where ripped away from me. "Dimitri", whined, "Please just a little while longer."

He sighed and walked over to the bed, "Only a few more hours and we'll be in our own house, our own bed, our own everything, all you have to do is get up. Everything is already packed and I'm leaving, I'd hate to leave you behind", he whispered getting up and jumping on the bed.

I literally began to cry in frustration, "What's wrong baby?" he asked concerned.

"I'm so tired", I sobbed clutching at his dark gray tee shirt.

"You can sleep in the car ok baby", he said soothingly while picking me up, his hand slipped under my night gown. "No panties, you naughty girl", he smirked.

"Me?"

"Yeah you", he comfirmed.

"Mmm, ok", I said after a moment too tired to argue. I let him place me in the passenger seat and cover me with a blanket from the backseat before I fell asleep.

"Rose do you want anything?" Dimitri asked.

"Where are we?" I groaned groggily.

"McDonalds", he said shrugging.

I stretched for a moment before telling him want I wanted. "How much longer", I whined.

"An hour or so", he replied looking longingly out the window.

"Are you excited?"

"Of course", he smiled.

"Me too", I added.

"Oh I almost forgot, when we get to the house I have a surprise for you."

"Tell me, tell me, tell me", I demanded in a child like voice.

"Sorry darlin' you're just gonna have to wait", he winked and turned his attention back to the winding road.

"Fine", I pouted crossing my arms across my chest and jutting out my bottom lip.

He chuckled but said nothing else. When we finally pulled into the driveway of our house it was raining, the cottage stood alone in the middle of no where, it was surrounded by flowers on both sides. "This place is beautiful", I said in awe.

"This place is alright but I wouldn't use the word beautiful, not with you standing next to me", he said smiling. He picked me up and carried me over the threshold, "So Mrs. Belikov", he paused, wide eyed at the words that had just escaped his mouth.

"Say it again", I pleaded, loving the way the words sounded, loving the idea of being his wife.

"Mrs. Belikov", he repeated timidly.

I smiled and allowed myself to get lost in his words.

"You like that?" he asked skeptically.

I bit my lip and nodded.

"Follow me", he replied after a moment. I let him led me through the cozy house, "This is our bedroom which you won't be leaving for a long time", he added winking at me. I smiled mischievously and leapt into his arms.

"Well pull my hair and call me Bill", I teased kissing him, he let out a small chuckle and laid me on the bed, the sheets where soft and white with a silky blue down comforter that matched the color of the master bed room. "Stop looking at me like that, you're making me nervous", I accused.

"I'm sorry", he chuckled burying his head in my chest as he laughed.

"Did you just motorboat me?" I yelled.

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't ", he smiled.

After he removed my shirt he stared at my stomach with an expression I couldn't quite read. "Sorry I just um, well you weren't around and I didn't have any extra work out time and you… you fed me all this fast food and I", I rambled on desperately trying to cover my once flat stomach.

"No silly girl it's not that at all, you look amazing, I was just thinking", he said bringing my hand to his lips and kissing it sweetly.

"Thinking about what?" I asked incredulously.

"It's not possible", he replied dismissing the thought.

"The fact that you're here right now proves that nothing is impossible so just spit it out", I protested.

"I was thinking of how great it would be if you… got pregnant."

"Pregnant?" I yelled in horror.

"I'm sorry, that was really forward, forgive me", he said in a controlled voice slipping back into guardian mode.

"Oh comrade you know I didn't mean it like that, I just don't think the world is ready to have a little Hathaway-Belikov running around", I murmured trying to lighten the mood.

"It's because of me isn't it, because of the things I've done. It's completely understandable that you don't want to bare the child of a monster", he replied picking at a loose thread in the sheets.

"You know damn well that not why Dimitri, you know I love you", I yelled defensively.

"I didn't ask for this, I didn't ask to be a monster, it wasn't my fault!" He spat.

"You are _not_ a monster", I screamed in frustration.

He slammed his fist into the bed behind my head. "Damnit Rose what don't you understand_**, I tried to kill you**_. I hate myself everyday from the moment I wake up till the second I go to sleep, I'm the one who has to live with what I've done, not you Rose, _NOT_ you", he cried before collapsing his head into my chest, sobs racked his body and he screamed out in frustration.

In that moment I was horrified of him but I never tired to push him away if anything I pulled him closer.

"Even at me?" I asked as I began to cry.

"Especially at you", he comfired.

"Don't you think I feel guilty for things too, I'm the one who let them take you, I'm the one who survived, I'm the one who didn't try hard enough to save you, this is _**my**_fault", I sobbed.

"We need help", he stated kissing my collar bone, "I don't want to fight with you", he whispered.

"I know", I said distantly, "I love you why can't that just be enough?"

"Until we find a suitable counselor it will have to be", he shrugged reaching over to the nightstand.

"I know this isn't really the best time but I simply can't wait any longer, will you marry me?" He asked pulling a velvet box from the drawer of the nightstand.

"Of course", I sighed, he slipped the ring onto my finger and I smiled at it, "do you think things will ever go back to normal?"

"I don't know the future but if there is one thing I do know it's that I love you Roza, don't ever question that," he said.

"I never will", I yawned.

"Nap time", he announced reaching over me to turn off the lamp.


End file.
